Posts filed under ‘One-shots’
by Lisa Tang
“Yo punk, Move It! This is MY seat!”
A loud voice jostled me from my thoughts. I had been Dreaming… Awakening from my slumber, two piercing eyes filled with anger stared into mine. A man twice my size hovered over me.
“I’m sor-sor-sorry…” I managed to stammer as I swiftly got up and picked up my tray.
With a grunt, the giant sat down with his mammoth friends. I could feel his daggers burning a hole in my back, but I decided not to look back. The last thing I needed was to get into an argument, and most likely, be beaten into a pulp.
I shuffled to the garbage receptacle and dumped the remainder of the lunch I had tried to force myself to eat. I guess I must have fallen asleep despite the hustle and bustle of the fast food joint.
Leaving the smell of burgers and fries behind, I walked along the sidewalk. One Step, two steps, three steps, four… Each time my feet made contact with the pavement, my legs seemed to grow heavier. Stopping at an intersection, I wondered which way I should head. I did not know. So, I allowed myself to be led across the street by a passing group of teenagers as I continued to wander aimlessly.
Gazing up at the sky, the sun beamed down with a radiant smile. Its brilliant rays seemed to mock me as I tried to Erase the events of the past few days. Though I knew it was wrong of me from the beginning, I could not help myself… The more I got to know her and the more time we spent together, the more I felt drawn to her. And before I knew it, I realized that I Loved My Friend’s Girl. I tried hard to suppress my feelings. I fed myself endless thoughts of honour and friendship and brotherhood, and how I mustn’t Do It. But it was no use… In the end, I made her My Girl and lost my best friend.
And now, a year later, I found myself in the same predicament. When she approached me the other day with an uneasy look on her face, I asked, “Tell Me Baby, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t think this is gonna work…”
“What do you mean?”
“I… I’ve found somebody else… It’s… It’s your friend, Darren…” Her voice trailed off. Then she turned around and left.
As if struck by a Bullet, I fell on my knees. Looking at her back that was growing smaller and smaller, I felt numb from head to toe. My mind collapsed, unable to comprehend what had just happened, yet chiding me because of the irony of the situation. Tears spilled down my cheeks uncontrollably and I was at a complete loss… All I felt was incessant pain… My heart whispered to me, “Lock Me Up and never unlatch me again…”
All that took place merely two days, twelve hours, and ten minutes ago… My life since then has been a blur… And though the tears have ceased, I can’t help but wonder… Where do you go when the Tears Run Dry?
by Lisa Tang
Written in support of Jay Park!
Looking back at the path that we have traversed together this past year, it breaks my heart to see our beloved Angel taken away from us as we stood by, helpless and full of frustration and anger. The power of mindlessness and the cruelty of reality have yet settled in. An immovable rock has found its home in my heart, making it difficult to breathe.
In my mind, Only You can be the leader of 2PM; no one else can ever replace you. You are, not were, the center of 2PM. Even if you may not be 10 Out Of 10 because no human is perfect, in my heart, you possess the definitive qualities of an exemplary leader. Again & Again you have shown us how you have persevered to get to where you are despite the challenges that you faced, and that all your hard work is not fruitless. Instead of “I Hate You“, your final words to us and those who brought you down were “I’m sorry.”
I know that things look uncertain for your future at this point, and most of us are thinking, “You Might Come Back sometime down the road…” Please take heart that your fans will continue to support you. “What Time Is It Now?” No, it is neither time for you to board your flight as you depart from Seoul nor is it time to take your final bow; it is time for you to feel our love and be surrounded by those who truly care about you and accept you for who you are–in the past, present, and future. We love you, Jay! <333 Please take good care of yourself.
Why Did You Call…
by Lisa Tang
A Beautiful Girl like you… Just what did you see in me back then? Was it the Love Letter that I had written that touched your heart somehow? I’m a man of few words in person, yet when I poured out my feelings onto the page, did you see something in me that you didn’t see before? Then why did you give it back to me when you wanted to break up with me? You had kept it for so long… If you didn’t want it anymore, then why couldn’t you just tear it up and toss it away? Why did you have to be so cruel? Did you not know that even a smile or a pout from you can taunt me in a way that even I find it hard to believe myself?
In handing me back the letter, it was as if a dart had pierced my heart. It was as if you were saying that you wanted to wipe everything away. Wasn’t there anything that we experienced together that would be worthy of your reminiscence? Even If It’s A Lie and you may not truly feel this way, could you not just say that we had shared some moments that you would cherish and that you still wanted to be friends with me after we part our ways?
Arghhh… I’m About To Die from this Love Disease that is consuming me alive. For a while, I thought I was actually doing all right on my own… But then that day… Why Did You Call… Have you not already said all you wanted to say when you told me that you thought it’d be best for us to not see each other anymore? Your call and hearing your voice again… It just stirred up the emotions in me that I thought I had already buried.
And now, you have made me realize that you were never gone to begin with… You were simply lurking in a corner of my heart as I tried to move on and pretend that everything was okay. But I was only fooling myself and you were Still very much in my heart even now. As I stood Here alone in my room, I had no choice but to soak up the pain that stabbed at my heart at the rhythm of my pulse. I did not pray for the heartache to go away for I knew that was futile. All I hoped was that you will not Keep Leaving and coming back so that the shadows of you and your scent could be momentarily tucked away. Perhaps when the numbness finally subsided, I would be able to withstand the possible hurt of falling in love again.
(NOTE: I changed “Keep Leaves” to “Keep Leaving” in order to fit the structure of the sentence better. After all, “Keep Leaves” is just ungrammatical. *lol*)
by Lisa Tang
Written in celebration of FTTS’s 8th Album Release: Decennium
A Decennium has elapsed since I first became Close To You. You were a Good Girl and deserved the very best, but somehow, I spiralled out of control after depression took over from the loss of my grandfather, and I slowly let the intrusion of Alcohol gnaw away at our relationship. Finally, you could not stand it anymore and told me, “Just Go, You! Just go and leave me alone…”
Arrested by this sudden outburst, I was reeled back to reality. I had not realized that the path I had been steering along was causing you so much pain and imposing such Restrictions upon you. And by the time that my senses had awakened, it was already too late… There was nothing I could do to convince you to return to my side. And thus, a deep wound formed in my heart–one that I have been unable to erase all these years…
As I gazed out the window of my room, thoughts of you drifted to mind as if some invisible force was plucking pieces of what we had shared and letting the wind guide them to where I was. I still cherished a lot of our memories together close to my heart. Out of all my Favourites, the one that stood out the most was when the two of us were spending a cloudless day in the countryside. There was nothing particularly spectacular about that day, but what made it so vivid to me was enjoying the simple joy of your presence as we opened our hearts to each other. And Probably Love smiled and decided to descend on us that day… *sigh* But that was a long time ago…before everything went wrong…
Jousting myself out of my trance, I drew my attention back to the task at hand. Sharpening my pencil and carefully placing the tip on the page, I let the scratches of lead guide my hand as I poured my love in the final Whole Note in this Song For You that I have penned. Leaving this Last Prayer of mine by your doorstep as a testament of my regret, I hoped the words will speak to you somehow…
“I’m Sorry, Tears
For letting you fall from the eyes of the one I love
I’m sorry, Heartache
For finding you a home in the depths of the one I cherish
I’m sorry, Love
For disappointing you when you tried to reach out to me
I’m sorry, please forgive me
Even if you don’t, I will still wait for another Decennium“
by Lisa Tang
“Please Don’t Do It! Don’t Go!”
Those were the last words that escaped my lips as you spun around and left me standing alone on the sidewalk. Shrouded by the dim light from the streetlamps, I made my way home with a heavy heart as shadows kept me company.
As time trickled by, I gradually began to lose sight of who I was or where I was headed. And Because We Don’t Love, it was as if I had been Living In Winter For One Year even when I was surrounded by warmth and sunshine. Irony certainly had a way of making its presence known.
Thinking back to our First Date, everything had seemed too perfect to be true. And over time, we were slowly Getting Closer as we experienced various ups and downs together. But alas, it was just not meant to be. I don’t know when things began to change, and I can’t recall how our distance began to grow. In the end, I lost you to someone…someone who I had trusted–my best friend… I Wish… I Wish…that things had not turned out that way.
Even though this break-up as well as betrayal left an eternal scar embedded in my heart, I’ve often been told that Gentlemen shall never shed any tears. And so, I tried to hold back and buried my emotions deep within. But my heart battled against my mind for Inside The Tears was where my heartache and my sorrow had sought solace… And such Black Tears mirrored the tremendous pain that had already taken root.
As my eyes become clouded by the hurt churning inside, All I Know is that I need to pick myself back up and face the world.
(NOTE: I changed “I Wish! I Wish!” to “I Wish… I Wish…” in order to fit the mood of the story better.)
Tears Of The Moon
by Lisa Tang
As I stood on the shore of the dark Emerald lake, I peered up at the melancholy sky. Tears Of The Moon rained down and steadily drenched me, sending a shiver through my body. I dropped to my knees and a brief pain shot through me as contact was made with the soft, wet ground. To others, I Was… I was probably just another broken man lamenting about his pitiful predicament. Though there may be some truth to that, I was here for Sentimental reasons. I Never Knew that what used to be a perfect picnic spot for me and you–once filled with numerous fond memories–would transform into a desolate, lonely place when you decided that we ought to go our separate ways.
I did not understand why you could not Stay by my side. Even Just One Moment with you meant more to me than anything in this world. Yet you had spoken words that I did not want to hear… “Love Is fleeting. Don’t hold on too tightly. It will only bring you tremendous heartache in the end…” But till now, deep within my heart, I Swear that I must not change for I Believe that Love Is What I Need most…
I let out an agonizing howl as I dug my fingers deeply into the grains of sand that had been completely soaked. Taking clumps as a time, I threw with all my might into the swirling, glassy waters. But after several times, I halted in mid-throw as I realized that even the lake was taunting me as it enjoyably swallowed its unexpected meal. Letting the remainder of the brown mixture glide down my palms, I parted my lips, crying out some sort of Prayer that may possibly ease my pain. But it was immediately carried away by the deafening screams of the wind. As the rain continued to pour down in an endless cacophony , I could no longer differentiate whether the tears streaming down my cheeks were mine or that of the moon.
A Self-kept Promise
by Lisa Tang
Written in commemoration of FTTS’s 9th Anniversary on November 21st and in anticipation of the upcoming 8th Album
I still recall how it had all started On The 3rd Day after we had first met at the library. Your warm, genuine smile and sparkling eyes immediately captivated me. It was as if My Angel had descended in front of my eyes. Feeling a bit shy and slightly awkward, I ventured to ask you out. To my surprise and delight, you actually agreed. I was elated!
That was three years ago when we were both freshmen in college. Perhaps we were still young and naive then. Our romance blossomed quickly, but also withered before long as the Weightless Love grew heavy. I still don’t know what I had done wrong. When you had initiated the break-up, I was caught off-guard. Feeling completely bewildered, I asked her why she was leaving me. She replied, “I’m Sorry… I’ve met someone else… Please Go Ahead And Hate Me… I don’t deserve your love…”
I was speechless… How did I lose you to him after our two years together? Had my mind been so clouded by illusions that I had not even noticed the signs that her heart was slowly slipping away from mine? And now, all that was left was a Handful Of Memories. Shrouded by her stinging words that played again and again in my mind, I whispered, “Whether or not you think you deserve it, It’s Still Love. I Love You. It’s that simple.” Like an apparition, I drifted around campus, lost in my own world. At times, I was trapped in darkness, burying all my pain and tears within. And at other moments, anguish struck my weakened heart and I wanted to find out who was responsible so I could lay it all out with him Man 2 Man. But I fought against the anger that consumed me and just tried my best to deal with the ceaseless dull ache on my own.
Two years have elapsed; I am still The Person Who Remains unchanged. When the graduation date arrived, I was filled with a sense of dread because I knew that the day after had been set for your wedding. Like a looming cloud that followed my every move, I walked around in a daze, trying to force a smile when greeted by a fellow classmate and promptly returned the congratulatory remarks. The procession passed before my eyes like a haze and as I stole glances at you, who was seated several rows ahead of me, I could not help but think that you’re Still Beautiful Today…and no doubt, would appear even more stunning tomorrow… The whole bowing, hand-shaking, acceptance of diploma occurred as if I were in a robotic trance. Everything seemed like a blur… Despite my best efforts to slow down time, it was adamant to move on, mocking me as it whistled merrily whilst counting down the hours to the next morn.
The following day, I awoke with a heavy heart. With every step that I took and every motion that I made, it seemed as if I was pounded by pellets of pain that pierced my entire body. I got dressed and proceeded out the door. Wincing as my eyes were met with brilliant sunlight, I found it especially cruel on this day as its jeering rays jabbed at my heart and flooded me with pangs of pain. I heaved a sigh and muttered under my breath, “Let’s Get It On! What’s the point of prolonging the inevitable?”
Many guests had already selected their spots at the pews when I arrived at my dreaded destination. Soon, the ceremony was underway. When the pastor joined the couple in matrimony and concluded with the line, “If anyone has any reason to object to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.” I had the urge to stand up and shout, “Jiyeon ah… Don’t Get Married!!” But I knew that would only be a foolish and fruitless act. As I watched helplessly, my heart almost stopped beating when I saw that the person who was Kissing You at the altar was not me. Fighting back stabs of pain, I convinced myself that Even If I Can’t Have You, I still wish you every happiness and blessing in whatever your future holds.
The rest of the day flew by. Now that you have begun a new chapter of your life, perhaps it is finally time for me to commence mine. I shall hold fast to the Self-kept Promise that I had just made–I will remain strong because surely, desolation will depart and I will find my love one day.